DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: DEAR MAN Worksheet

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The goal of DBT’s interpersonal effectiveness skill is to build and maintain positive relationships which have a huge impact on the quality and outcome of our relationships with others. 

DEAR MAN is a skill intended to help individuals develop effective interpersonal communication that will help get their needs met and develop healthy relationships.

DEAR MAN is an acronym with each letter representing its own skills. It stands for Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear, and Negotiate.

What Are The Theories Behind This Worksheet?

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is a type of talking therapy specifically adapted to treat individuals who suffer from extremely intense emotions. 

DBT treatment is based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and is used to help struggling individuals identify and positively change negative thinking patterns.

DBT focuses on providing therapeutic skills in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and The Middle Path.

DEAR MAN is a sub-skill of interpersonal effectiveness that is used to resolve a conflict or make a request in a respectful and effective way that sustains a relationship.

How Will This Worksheet Help You?

This worksheet will provide skills for making hard conversations become easier over time.

This worksheet will also help individuals get what they need from their relationships while respecting themselves and others.

How Should You Use This Worksheet?

This worksheet should teach individuals how to develop effective interpersonal communication. 

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DBT Tools. (© 2022). DEAR MAN Skill. Available at: https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php. [Accessed December 07, 2022]


Sunrise Residential Treatment Program. (© 2022).  DEAR MAN DBT SKILL: The Most Effective Way to Make A Request. Available at: https://sunrisertc.com/dear-man/. [Accessed December 07, 2022]