What is the theory behind this Radical self forgiveness worksheet?
Self-forgiveness is giving up the guilt, resentment and shame regarding one’s shortcomings. It is making peace with yourself and getting rid of the need to dwell on what happened that made you feel negative. According to Collins Tipping, self forgiveness consists of five stages that are; 1) Telling the story, 2) completely immersing yourself into that negative feeling once and for all, 3) collapsing then 4) reframing the story and finally 5) fusion of the new interpretation of the story with the old one. It is suggested that everything happens for a reason and when that reason is accepted, the shortcoming can be viewed as something purposeful.
How will the worksheet help?
This worksheet is based on the techniques introduced by Collins Tippings in his book Radical Self-forgiveness. This technique will help the clients in achieving the five stages one by one gradually and they will be able to forgive themselves with greater insight.
How to use this worksheet?
To use this worksheet, find a comfortable and distraction free space to focus. Write three letters to yourself in three days. The gap between the letters should not be more than 48 hours as it will diminish the effect that is meant to occur. Follow the instructions provided below.
Radical self forgiveness worksheet
Write a letter to yourself posing as the victim of your shortcoming. Write whatever you feel in your victim mindset. Do not leave or censor any information, since it is not meant to be sent anywhere. Express your feelings wholeheartedly.
Write this second letter from the same victim, but who is accepting towards the shortcomings. Write what has caused you to be this way. How you understand where this shortcoming is coming from. How you can accept the flaws you have even though they have caused problems and regrets for you.
Write this third letter from an evolved spiritual perception of yourself in which you acknowledge that you have come to witness the whole situation from a different perspective, which has helped to illuminate the fact that what happened was divinely planned. You now see that this all happened for a reason, one that has everything to do with your spiritual and psychological growth. You also recognize the effects of this shortcoming is not something that happened to you but happened in your favor.
Tipping, C. C. (2011). Radical self-forgiveness: The direct path to true self-acceptance. Sounds True.
Zolotuhina-Abolina E., Makarenko M. (2020). Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness: Moral and Psychological Unity. Chelovek 31(5), pp.111-128
You can download this worksheet here.